For starters, compare his repertoire and pitch selection to Hammel’s. Lackey has always been a fastball-heavy pitcher, and he has only increased his fastball use in recent seasons. In 2015, he threw a fastball (fourseam or sinker) 68% of the time. Only five qualifying starters offered a steadier diet of heat. He also simplified his usage of breaking balls during his time in St Louis. Historically, he has thrown roughly 40% breaking balls with a fairly even distribution of sliders and curves, mixing in an occasional changeup. In 2015, he saw that pitch timeshare shift dramatically in favor of the slider, using his curve less than half as often as before and virtually abandoning his changeup. In contrast, Hammel is a breaking ball aficionado. He throws the hard stuff for just slightly more than half of his pitches, relying on a slider 36% of the time. That’s good for the fourth highest slider usage amongst qualified starters. Last season, Lackey also threw a higher percentage of first pitch strikes than any starter not named Max Scherzer. He gets ahead early and proceeds to pound the zone with fastballs. If I could build Schwarber’s battery mate from scratch, that description would probably be my starting point.

Perhaps less important than his repertoire, but still worth mentioning, is the reputation that repertoire has garnered. I’m sure we would all prefer if umpires were perfectly objective, but the reality is that baseball is a game obsessed with paying dues. Young pitchers will be squeezed while established veterans will more often get the benefit of the doubt, having “earned it.” This is one of the reasons I wasn’t enamored with the idea of Hendricks pitching to Schwarber. A fourteen year veteran like Lackey isn’t getting squeezed by home plate umpires, especially when his reputation as “a strike thrower” is so well-established. A generous strike zone can only help Schwarber as he refines his receiving skills.

All that said, to me, the choice is made truly easy for one reason: Lackey is Winston Churchill compared to Hammel. He threw 48 more innings last season in only two more starts. Hammel went 7+ innings just eight times in 2015. Lackey, meanwhile, accomplished the feat in 21 of his 33 starts, and failed to pitch at least a full six innings a mere five times, one of which was his final start of the regular season. To my mind, this is arguably the most important factor from a strategic standpoint because it maximizes the advantage of starting Schwarber behind the dish in the first place. K-Schwarb (is that a thing?) catching allows for the most potent iteration of the 2016 Cubs offense. Whenever Maddon gets to fill out a lineup card featuring both Jorge Soler and the Schwarbinger of War (is THAT a thing??) without the catcher position as a weak spot, you ideally want to be able to stick with that lineup for as long as possible. The last thing you want is to have to go to the bullpen–and thus the bench–in the top of the 4th inning, particularly given that the bench on those days will be half comprised of catchers. Joe Maddon has talked about the importance of rest for players, but I wonder if he doesn’t deserve a day off every now and then, himself. Set a dream lineup behind a pitcher who works deep in games with the astounding regularity of an Activia-fueled Jamie Lee Curtis, and the game practically manages itself. Maddon can take those days off to play disc golf, which is something I strongly suspect he enjoys.

You make the case for familiarity, and it’s a fair point, but I think familiarity should be a distant afterthought compared to everything else I’ve mentioned. Yeah, Hammel and Schwarber have a bit of a head start developing chemistry, but Lackey’s repertoire should be relatively easy for Schwarber to adapt to, and as for Lackey’s part, a fourteen year veteran should be plenty accustomed to working with new catchers by this point in his career. Lackey simply makes too much sense for me to be satisfied with another option. Hammel would be my second choice, but it’s not a particularly close second.

Say hello to the future, sans Ross, and drool away.