“No. No! NO! Stop it! Stop it, please! I beg you! This is sin! This is sin! This is sin! It’s a sin, it’s a sin, it’s a sin!” –Little Alex, A Clockwork Orange ALSO: –Me during any Tyler Chatwood start Actually, hold on a sec… that implies that a Chatwood start is like watching […]
Author: Ken Schultz
Game 50 Recap: Cubs 7, Pirates 0
Today the Cubs and Pirates celebrated Memorial Day in the traditional manner that MLB knows best: commemorative camo green uniforms and caps. MEL BROOKS VOICE: Merchandising! Where the real money from the day of solemn observance is made! And it was appropriate that the Cubs spent a holiday dedicated to somber remembrance in Pittsburgh. Because as […]
Game 39 Recap: Cubs 3, Braves 2
My brain hurts. But as of the top of the ninth inning…in a good way. What You Need to Know: It was a night where as soon as any Braves player got on base, he turned into Ryan Theriot. And as soon as any umpire had to make a close call, he turned into Angel […]
Game 31 Recap: Cardinals 4, Cubs 3, Joy 0
Et tu, Dexter? Then fall, Clark the Cub! (Dies) What You Need to Know: I can’t think of anything else I love more than baseball. And the Cubs are pretty much my favorite thing in the world. But there are usually a couple times every season when there is nothing I want more than a […]
The Contradictory Joe Maddon
It’s something of a surprise to be reminded that Joe Maddon was the oldest active manager in Major League Baseball at the start of the 2018 season. For one thing, the game is still populated by people like Clint Hurdle and the Pittsburgh Pirates who certainly feel older than Maddon and always seem to be […]
Game 28 Recap: Rockies 11, Cubs 2
It’s getaway day of a Colorado series so let’s begin by discussing all the positive things that happened for the Cubs today… Is Kris Bryant’s head OK? Yes. Beyond that? I got nothing. Like this game after three innings, let’s get it over with… What You Need to Know: You can tell how well a […]
Game 20 Recap: Cubs 10, Cleveland 3
To hell with Disney World. If your kids ever ask to go to the Happiest Place on Earth, take them to Cleveland. And when they burst out crying, calmly explain to them that we have tangible proof that it’s the only city on the planet where dreams actually come true. Tonight the Cubs returned to […]
Andy MacPhail and the Wrigley Field Excuse
Like any baseball fan who came of age in Chicago during the 1990s and 2000s, I followed the Cubs religiously during the boom of sports talk radio. Which is just another way of saying I can recite the Heavenly Bodies commercial more accurately than the national anthem. And anyone who listened to the reasoned and […]
Game 16 Recap: Cubs 8, Cardinals 5
In the spirit of Tuesday’s opening paragraph, it’s only fitting that I again put on my social media wizard’s cap and pitch this gem to @cubs… I got a hit with RISP! I got a hit with RISP! I got a hit with RISP! I got a hit with RISP! I got a hit with […]
Game 15 Recap: Cardinals 5, Cubs 3
Okay @cubs, I’ve written your next tweet for you… I will get a hit with RISP. I will get a hit with RISP. I will get a hit with RISP. I will get a hit with RISP. I will get a hit with RISP. I will get a hit with RISP. I will get a […]